PROBLEM: You hate
SOLUTION: Change your
perspective on what it really means and why you hate it.
While Valentine’s Day may appear to be solely a day for
romance, here at We Solved It – we’d like to remind you that it can also be a
day of replenishment for your psyche and your soul. The cycle and circle of life itself is a
Just because it is a commercialized holiday on the calendar –
doesn’t mean you only need to celebrate it on the day itself. Valentine’s Day much like Thanksgiving and
Earth Day should be holidays celebrated every day – Love, Gratitude and caring
for our planet are not just one-day-per-year celebrations and shouldn’t be
limited to such. If we did this – we would
not dislike holidays so much because we feel obligated on ‘the one day’ we
think we have to do something. If we
take the time to celebrate what matters each day, there wouldn’t be so much
pressure on just one day, or expectation to be a certain way just because a
date on the calendar dictates for us to be in a happy mood and do as the
One of the biggest misconceptions about Valentine’s Day is
that you must have someone in your life to know what love is or how to
celebrate this holiday. Quite frankly,
the opposite is true – you have to know who you are, what it is in your mind
and heart and know how to appreciate yourself inside and out in order to even
be able to give to someone else. One of
the reasons there are givers and takers is example that this is true. If you constantly give – you have nothing
left. If you constantly take, nobody
wants to give to someone who doesn’t know how to reciprocate. Both are unhealthy scenarios and they do not
work as they usually cause resentment from the other party or you, yourself
will tire of a one-sided scenario. This
is what causes the cycle of fulfillment and depletion imbalance. There are the days people are full of
energy, life, enthusiasm and inspiration.
They have creativity. They feel
full of motivation and initiative.
Then the ‘overextension’ gets the best of them. They get sick. They sometimes go into the
hospital and are treated for exhaustion. They are dry, empty, unmotivated and
feel literally ‘stuck. ‘
This is nothing new.
This is not a new ‘condition.’
But it is part of the human condition.
It is part of what we call the lack of self-love. We must monitor this cycle to make sure we
never get out of synchronization with ourselves and so we can stay in balance
to have healthy relationships.
Very much like when a car is expected to go, but the keys
are lost and the tank is empty, the cycle of depletion is a temporary
situation. Yes, the keys will be found
and the tank will be filled once again. And then when you’re ready to go you’ll
be stuck in traffic and get frustrated and then, yes, disrupt your internal
This cycle is what melts us. But it is also what keeps us
going at the same time. You cannot have
one without the other. You cannot go,
go, go and not ever expect to be stopped or be forced to stop the madness of
the constant on-the-go cycle.
Why do we have it?
It’s part of what nature intends as natural decompression. We may not understand this – because we are
human. Humans are selfish beings who
assume that everything is to happen upon desire and upon our terms. But nature doesn’t intend us to live this
If we look to the example given in the wild, an animal may
wish to drink water because it is thirsty.
But perhaps it hasn’t rained in months and water is scarce. So animals trek on in search of water and
they will be forced to go the long route to go find it in the hot sun. Then suddenly there will be some shade to sit
under to rest. And just because the
animal sits in the shade and rests does not mean that thirst has gone
away. Yes, the animal may be tired, but
the journey is there to seek out to quench the thirst it has. Water may not come easily, but it is part of
the idea that this is what keeps us yearning, hoping, learning, growing. We must learn patience and we must learn
discipline. We must also learn to work
hard for what we get and soon, in time, we will quench our thirst. Perhaps along this journey we are meant to
become thirstier, as if to desire more and be more motivated for when we have
the energies to pursue the journey.
Sometimes the journey is long for purpose. So that we can remember to
sit under the shade of the tree to enjoy the process of being ‘in the process’
This cycle of depletion is a gift. It is a reward before the
big reward. It is a reminder to appreciate what we do have instead of what we
In other words, if we appreciate the legs we have to walk
the journey. We get start to understand what it means to appreciate the fact we
found a tree along the way to guard us from the sun. We will appreciate what it means to relax,
when given the means (or force of exhaustion) to relax. So that we can enjoy it for what it is. And so when we finally get that wonderful
quenching sip of water at last, we will not only savor the sip, and enjoy the
beauty of finally discovering it – but we will have something to reflect back
on to know what we were made of to get us there to enjoy it, rather than have
it given to us when we wanted it or demanded it.
The art of self-love is knowing when you need to fill your
own tank. Sometimes we need the time and
space to relax, think, read, be and replenish.
It could be something as simple as going for a walk to clear your head,
vegging out with a good book or movie or simply playing with the dog so we can
catch our breath again to give our best selves to our family, friends and those
we love. We must understand that it is
in the balance of this – where we can show up as our best selves when we are
with the people we care about most. But
we must always understand if we constantly self-loathe, we’ll never get to the
place of being happy with ourselves much less be happy around others.
The cycle of depletion teaches us to be humble and give
thanks for the downtime to rest, relax, heal, get well, sort out feelings,
ideas, emotions, problems, issues and refuel to become more prepared for the
journey ahead called life. But it is up
to each of us to learn the art of self-love with a time out to reflect upon who
we are and what we are thankful for so we can appreciate life itself and how we
live it so we have more love to share and give. If we practice the art of self-love every
single day, we will be less likely to loathe holidays so much because we will
have had the time to refill our spirits to be in a more spirited place to
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