Friday, March 1, 2013
WORDS AND OTHER CHOICE WAYS OF DEALING WITH LIFE
Words. They’re a beautiful thing. They can be informative, enlightening,
magical, personally transformational and life changing.
And
this is said in a positive light even if the words themselves are negative.
See…
even hurtful words can be informative, enlightening, magical, transformational
and life changing also. It depends on
what you do with the words…. How you look at them.
Let’s
start with family. They say you can pick
your friends but you cannot pick your relatives. This is true. Take any major holiday, family reunion,
wedding, funeral or even in the grind of day-to-day living. You will find within it, a moment – where
words themselves tend to show up and sometimes make a not-so-nice appearance.
We
have witnessed in our own families and in others how cutting words can be. From
a snide remark peppered with sarcasm and guilt, to an old emotional scar button
pushed several times, to critical and verbally abusive words which are
destructive to the soul.
But
have we truly observed? Words themselves
can be eye-opening. Words can be ironic. Words can be funny. Words can be expressive. Words can tell a
story - even when you think you already
know it…. They can reveal something deeper if you look.
Take
these same words from an employer, a toxic salesperson at a store, a raging car
next to you in traffic on the freeway….. somehow, the words don’t seem to hurt
as much, yet they could be the same words.
Even the most calm, with-it and together person, could think of a
zillion zingers and expletives to remark back to these words from someone who
is not family.
Why?!
You
can talk to anyone – even a stranger and they can go on and on about how some
person they just encountered did this and said that. They have no problem mentioning this at
all. But ask that same person if they
have any rift in their family - and
suddenly the topic almost seems taboo and shameful.
There
is an automatic protection - not just to
privacy, but almost a territorial protection toward those we love to protect
the rest of society from seeing how ugly their words can be. But we all know, not every member in our
family is a saint. Not every person in our family practices harmony and loving
kindness. And we seem to be more ashamed
of that, than we do when a stranger behaves the same way.
It
is because we are conditioned to believe that love from family is
unconditional… that somehow respect and acceptance are automatically born along
with the bloodline. Yet, we are more
forgiving and willing to blow off the same behavior from people we are less
emotionally attached to.
What
we don’t realize is that by forgiving the stranger, we are being exactly what
we automatically expect family to be.
But
in reality, the energy we radiate outward is the same energy we can receive in
return, by being pro-active instead of reactive. We’re all human. No one is perfect. But we have choices and the choice words we
say today can affect tomorrow….. good or bad.
And the words that follow those words can either add and build up or
tear down.
Education
is power. Our choice of words to anyone
has something special attached to it……….CHOICE.
The
choices we make in how we respond are uniquely ours to own and accept
responsibility for. If we generate the
energy of showing up everyday as our ‘best self’ we have done all that we can
possibly do and expect of ourselves.
And
just because someone else chooses not to show up as their ‘best self’ – we have
to surrender control over how they act and how WE REACT.
It
doesn’t matter whether it’s a stranger we encounter at the grocery line or if
it is Aunt Ida. We can educate. We can enlighten. We have the power to change ourselves and
possibly help transform someone else, but it is still their free will to make
the change they need to become their ‘best self’ on any given day.
We
can improve our own peaceful way of being each day by remembering something
very key.
We
own our own happiness. Did you know
this? If we enable someone to ruin our
good day, that is our fault. This is not
to say we cannot feel irritated, annoyed, hurt or betrayed. But we can get to a point of realization that
we choose how long we hold onto things.
That grudges are not healthy. And
that forgiveness sets our spirits free.
Take
your pair of hands. In one hand, you
can hold onto a grudge and some painful rift with your sister or brother. In the other hand you can hold onto some
annoying thing you allowed to ruin a perfectly good day while at the gas
station. But imagine if you opened both
hands and dropped both things and instead opened both arms to embrace something
BIGGER than those two grudges, and embraced happiness and harmony in your life
that you could wrap your arms around to carry with you every single day.
Would
you do it? Ask yourself this. Would you?
Power
to the people. We are not alone. In fact, we have each other, people. We are a Zen family. We chose you, or you chose us. We have the ability to empower
ourselves. We have the ability to make
changes like these in how we enable or disable our outside stimulus,
environment and even internal family squabbles, rifts, and issues. We have the
choice whether or not ‘words’ can affect us by infecting us with negative and
toxic energy or turn it around to remind us that we ourselves can be more
positive. We can still love and accept
someone for who they are as they are, flaws and all. Sure, we can have the human thoughts that run
in our minds about saying some perfect slam back as we ‘virtually’ pour a drink
over someone’s negative head. (shh, we won’t tell anyone). ;)
We
can respect our own spirits and the progress we are making being works in
progress as we grow, thrive and change, making ourselves healthier and stronger
mentally and emotionally and above all, spiritually.
WE
OWN THAT. No matter how destructive
words can be – no one can take the peace away from you. Never, ever – you own your own peace if you
recognize it is there to own in the first place! And it’s up to you to claim it and reclaim it
once again whenever you need to – even on a not so perfect day.
Words
cannot erase the progress you are making. You are making a positive choice to
make your life great every single say.
You don’t need approval from anyone.
You are your own person. And you
are the one who lives with the thoughts that roll around in your head as it
hits the pillow at night.
Together,
we can stay the positive path….
Life
is short. We keep saying this. But honestly – if this all ended tomorrow we
would realize how precious life is and how life changing words can be.
And
we can choose to stamp each day with beautiful words….
We
love you dear friends of We Solved It and appreciate your following our blog. You make each day beautiful, just as you
are…. May each day bring you beautiful words – words you share, words you
embrace, words you express and words that make you feel good each day. And even for the words you don’t hear – may
they somehow make a difference in your heart and in your life.
WE SOLVED IT
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